Update on our Adoption

Josh and I attended an orientation meeting for foster parents just to kind of see what it is all about. The majority of the information we already knew, but we did learn one MAJOR fact that was a deal-breaker for us on foster care. The state of Illinios has issues...did you know that? Well, it's true. Most foster kids are in care about 4-6 months, sometimes less sometimes more. After 18 months if the child's parents have not come up to scratch then the court is supposed to order a TPR (termination of parental rights). At that point the foster parents are given the option to adopt the child or not.

At least that is how it is SUPPOSED to happen.

Not in Illinois.

Our court system is so behind that a child is in care on average 3-5 YEARS - and most of them go back home after that. Very few children in IL actually go up for adoption, which I guess is good for them.

But let's step back and look at this....how much damage is that really doing? A young child is only going to KNOW their foster parents - then get put back with their biological parents after 5 years???? I just don't get it.

Josh and I decided that, because of this little fact, foster care is definitely not for us. There is no way we could care for a child for so long and then just let them go - not to mention how hard it would be for Hunter and Alex to see their "sibling" just leave and never come back.

We have been heavily persuing Adopt-Only, but Illinois doesn't like that. Since Illinois have very few adoptable kids they just need foster parents, so almost all adopt-only programs have been obliterated. AND since Illinois has very few adoptable children Josh and I would like to reserve the right to persue out of state adoption as well. After all, there are TONS of kids in other states who need a family, right?

We have finally found an agency that will work with us on this, but it is a bit costly. We are currently looking at ways to finance this. There are lots of adoption grants and such and I have some paperwork on that. We are also saving what we can.

Now, on to a different rant. The agency that we are working with will help us, but it seems that no one has any idea how to do this. I have been through the wringer with all this run-around. They say they will call me back, but never do. I did manage to get the application (which resembles buying a house) so that I can start on that. I guess I understand that when you are doing foster care the state is paying for it so they will get it done when they get it done. But, since I am PAYING for this myself I kind of expect a certain level of service. Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is - I have no idea. I know these folks are way overworked and way underpaid, but seriously, who isn't? On a daily basis I am returning admin emails to my bosses while trying to change a diaper (and keep Alex's hands out of it) and since I am not paying attention to him Hunter is throwing a fit in the background.

So, since this process appears to be SO difficult I am under no misapprehension as to why these poor kids get the shit end of the stick. No WONDER why the system is so f*cked up. This process seriously resembles a giant group of chickens with their heads cut off running around in a 2 inch wide pen.

Finally, on to my update: We are currently waiting to talk to our social worker - IF she ever calls back.

On a side note: For my fantastic friends that hope to persue adoption one day I urge you to begin saving up your patience now...Lord knows you are going to need it!