After much thought and consideration Josh and I have decided to put the adoption on hold. We are not sure when we are going to pick it up again (but we will!) but for right now we feel this is a good decision for us.
We are hoping to get some finances straightened out and hopefully work on the behaviors of our own children and our reactions to them...so hopefully to become better parents in the long run. Hunter is a very difficult child and we are trying to get a grip on that. Not only that but we need to save some money before we go through with this. While we could do it now it puts a lot of pressure on us to have the money in time...We would prefer to have all the money together BEFORE starting the process again.
We are both a bit sad and a bit apprehensive, but we know that for our own children, as well as ourselves, this will be best for now. I am hoping to be able to pick up this process again by this time next year. I will keep everyone updated!